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Recently my husband and I just learned that we have a high needs baby. When our third child was born we thought we could handle it after all we just went through the baby thing with our youngest who was 18 months at the time. We knew we would be waking up at night with him and eventually he would outgrow that. We agreed that I would nurse our son. My husband and I were excited and ready for a change because he is our first son. However, we were not prepared with how big of a change it would be, or should I say "challenge."

Conan was born on July 17, 2007. He was 7lbs 21 inches and born only 2 weeks early. His sisters were both a month early. He took to nursing right away and I felt like an old pro. The first night I had him in my hospital room he already started to challenge me. Every time I tried to put him in his bassinet he would cry. The only way I could get him to sleep in the bassinet was if he was already asleep.

By the time he was two months old I was getting used to waking up every hour at night to nurse him. At the time I thought that he would outgrow this. I also noticed that he cognitive development was growing at a rapid rate. He was more alert than most 2 month olds and already doing raspberries. I also had a difficult time getting him to take his naps. The only way he would sleep is if he was held. Shurly he would outgrow this as well.

When Conan was 5 months old I was still getting up with him at night to nurse him. By this time he wanted to nurse not only for nourishment but for comfort as well. We tried to give him a pacifier so I could get a break. This turned into a power struggle. He was still amazing us with his cognitive development. My husband was watching the Packer game on TV and when he tried to get our toddler to say, "Go Pack, Go," Conan responded with, "Go." He said his first word at five months.

My daughters began talking at 7 and 8 months. I never had experience with an infant that talked that early.

Now Conan is nearly 8 months old and has a twelve word vocabulary. He still requires a lot of attention. I am constantly holding or nursing him. We have tried everything that the doctor has suggested to get him to sleep through the night and failed every time. My daughters were both sleeping through the night by the time they were 6 months old. Even though he is now on solids I am still nursing him every few hours and he hates his naps. I am up with him 2-3 times at night sometimes more.

In my quest to find out what is wrong with my baby I found some great resources on high needs babies. Dr. Sears wrote about his daughter, Hayden who was a high needs baby. When I read that I said, "That is Conan!" I also found many other resources from women who have also had high needs babies. I am very relieved that this is perfectly normal and I am not alone.

So what can you do if you have a high needs baby? I learned that you should nurture your child and respond to his or her needs. Conan sleeps in our bed because if we put him in his crib he just screams. If he wants to nurse I nurse him. He also loves to be talked to. I talk to him the same way that I talk to my two-year-old. Every time he looks at me intently and every day he says new words. Because I am encouraging his rapid cognitive development he amazes me every day.

Read as much as you can about high needs babies and children. There are several books out there on the subject. You are not alone. Visit these resources on high needs babies. Click on the links below for more information.




Advice for parents of children who need touch and motion, who don't sleep well, who nurse often, and who are draining and demanding. The Sears, parents of eight children and authors of "The Birth Book," have a high-need daughter of their own, and offer both personal experience and observations of patients. Includes tips, a burnout survival list, and advice on lessening both parental and child anxiety.








About this title: With warmth and wisdom, Dr. Sears, an eminent pediatrician and father of six, offers timeless advice that will show parents how to help their high-need child enjoy a more contented start in life. Includes information on how high-need babies, properly attended to, can give parents the best return on their investment of time and energy.





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